Dick Figures_Red and Blue_Late that night_pt.8.7

[Dick Figures - Brain Switch (Ep #28)]

- Where are you going all fancy pants?!

Oh, this day, I remember, ok, what’s going to happen this time?

- I have a job interview, so I can get money, and pay bills, like a normal person.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m gonna find a dragon! Peeeace!

Then we’re both struck by lightning and switch psyke, so far so good I guess?

(Both) - I don’t feel so good-… What happened?!

Blue is in my body and he’s freaking out, all I can think of is that I look good in his clothes.

- Wuh- What?! Did we just switch?!

- O. My. GOD! My brain is in your head!

I laugh respective Blue is crying, too bad, tears doesn’t suit my face…

- I’m gonna do s many weird things to your body!

- O my god, my interview!

- I just- POOPED in your pants!

- You can’t f*ck this up!

- Don’t worry, I’m Blue, it’ll be fiiiine!

Then I try to cross the road and get Blue’s body hit by a car.

- O my god, my body!

- I pooped again!

Then I get to the interview in Blue’s place, now that I think of it, this moment was: The. Most. Embarrassing. EVER! The clock on the wall is ticking and the heavy silence is suffocating the room.

- … (A lot of words that I don’t really understand nor can I understand them)

“Hmmm, thinking, say something clever! We are undervaluing our physical stock remainers. Yeah, let’s go for it! Those are words!” (If I’m wrong here please excuse me, I can’t hear what he’s saying exactly)

- (Really sorry, I can’t make out the words that Red’s saying here)

“Urgh! TERRIBLE! I’m giving us amnesia! Who is giving who amnesia?!”

Geez, now that the embarrassment is over can we move on?

- Mmmm, interesting, interesting, yeah-… Are you retarded?

Then I confront Blue about the interview:

- I uh- didn’t get the job.

- WHAAAT?! You asshole, I told you not to f*ck this up!

- The guy was a jerk anyway!

- That’s it, I’m going to ruin your life AND your body!

Oh lord, forgive me for what I am about to do…

- GOOD! I’m gonna ruin yours!

I don’t know what Blue is doing with my body but I’m drinking vodka with his, then hitting up the strip club inhaling sugar from a womans naked chest, then riding the MURDER JUMP 5K CERTAIN DEATH in the motorcycle stadium (which I don’t know where it is located so I’m just going to leave it at that), then attending a party, drink a lot of booze and throw Blue’s money around everywhere, and then I call the pink witch his girlfriend at that moment…

- Oh, hey, Blue.

- Hey YOU, boo boo!

- *Awkward laughter* I was just about to go to bed.

- That sounds very comfortable. Do you know what would be more comfortable?

- What?

- Us, naked, next to a fire, making looove!

- Blue I’ve never seen this side of you!

- Baby I wanna see eeeveryside of you!

- Why don’t you come over here?

- I’m already on my way! You stay CLASSY San Diego!

- What-?

That’s when it hit me, as myself from that day in Blue’s body talking to Pink in the payphone, it was Blue she thought she was talking to, but it was MY side that she liked. Damn her, damn her right to hell! For playing with him like that!

Just like last time I’m running into him on the street, but this time I switch back into MY body, not the Racoons. I’m dizzy and I can barely stand up let alone think straight. I sit up and Blue pukes endlessly and has spasms, twitching all over:

- Blue? You ok dude?

I didn’t say that! Or well, I did now, but I still have no control over my body, the first change was that I returned to my body, now I’m saying things and I still have no control over what I’m doing. Is this really what happened then? No, It couldn’t have-… I hope… Blue stops puking after a while, then after that the spasms. The dizziness fades away and I’m crawling over to Blue, still no control over my body so I’m just watching eagerly what’ll happen because I don’t remember any of this.

- Blue?... Dude, joke’s over, stop that…

His eyes are half open but he’s not blinking, I’m taking his pulse and there’s nothing, not even a faint beating, his pulse is gone, the heart’s not beating.

- SHIT! Blue! Hang in there buddy!

My body which I have no control over lifts Blue up, takes him over to the hospital (because all the taxi cars I tried to call over ignored me), I leave him in the hands of the surgeons and wait silently, prayingon a bench in front of the doors in the hallway. I can’t control my body yet, weird considering that this never happened so I should be able to change this, but I can’t. I can hear panic from inside the room and I’m getting anxious. The master-surgeon or whatever comes out, I stand up and await his answer. I already know that he’s going to say that he’s dead so just say something already!

- You can’t replace a friend…

I knew it, f*ck dammit, Blue, I’m sorry.

- However, this time it wasn’t necessary!

- We have a pulse!

My breath gets stuck in my throat, I look past the surgeon and see Blue, still uncounscious on the bed but the pulse-rate on the screen beside him is stable, brain activity is normal and his breathing is good too. Was I able to save him this time?! The surgeon and the nurses pass me and leave the door open, Blue is alive, I can’t believe it! I approach him and caress his cheek. He’s alive-… however, his cheek is cold as ice, but all of the machinery shows that he’s ok…

I lean my ear against his chest and put 2 fingers on his throat. No pulse and no heartbeat, how can that be?! I check his breathing too, nothing, I check the machines that are saying he’s alive, I follow the wires and they’re attached to a sleeping cat on the floor. I freeze and look back at Blue, then at the cat on the floor, Blue again and then the cat… Of course…